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Ever find yourself having to have an uncomfortable conversation and not knowing how to navigate through it, other than running in the other direction? Perhaps, you are a parent of a child that reacts with behavioral problems or emotional outbursts and he/she will do everything and anything to get out of the conversation. Even if that means picking up some unwanted consequences. Having uncomfortable conversations are no fun! They can be draining and if not navigated intentionally and systematically can be relationship killers and emotional and mental vampires. There is an easier way to have these uncomfortable conversations that builds intimacy within the relationship, clarifies the topic or situation, problem solves the issue or stops something from getting bigger than it was ever intended to be. Want to make those conversations easier. Here are 10 strategies to navigate uncomfortable conversations. SPEAK IN A PRIVATE SETTING. Meet in a private room or spot where no one else can overhear. And if someone else brings up the conversation first in a public setting, suggest holding the conversation in a place you are more comfortable. PUT EMOTION INTO MOTION. Walking, eating and fidgeting will allow you to work out the stress that's going on in your body. Just choose things that won't throw your focus. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR DISCOMFORT. Label the emotion and acknowledge your anxiety. Offer a quick sentence that explains what the other person already senses, such as, "This is hard for me to talk about." SET A TIMER. Put on a timer to discuss the uncomfortable subject matter before starting, in order to ease the anxiety of a forever conversation. WHOLE BODY LISTENING. Give yourself a chance to process what the other person is saying by listening with your heart and head. Check for understanding by repeating back what you hear. Slow and steady wins the race. KEEP A GROWTH MINDSET. Having a growth mindset means understanding that you can develop your own strengths and weaknesses through hard work, dedication, and grit. You don't have to be perfect, as you are in a state of becoming! PAUSE. Ask for short breaks within the conversation when you feel your emotions getting big. Practice some deep breathing exercises, positive self talk or prayer. Whatever works for you, be creative! HAVE A SAFE WORD. Be aware of your anxiety and how it is climbing the anxiety scale in order that you can use your safe word before the conversation starts to go downhill. Safe words ex. "I'm at a 5". Reschedule or pause the conversation. At times conversations can be a little difficult to process and that is okay. KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS. Knowing your triggers ahead of time helps you navigate through the conversation smoother, as you'll be able to plan ahead and build a strong coping and problem-solving tool box. UNDERSTAND & ACCEPT. Everyone is uniquely designed and understanding your limitations and capacity is one huge step in the right direction to getting stronger in conversations. Be the best version of you, you can be! Recognize you are in a state of becoming! Difficult conversation don't have to be difficult as there are intentional and strategic ways to navigate them in order that you can become both comfortable and confident within them. Keep that growth mindset with it all! Seeing difficult conversations as just one of life's many obstacles that when looked at with a different perspective can be an opportunity of personal and relational growth allowing us to be a better version of self step by step. #intentionalandstrategicliving Traveling Light Counseling is in the heart of Port Saint Lucie, FL and easily assessable from both Vero Beach and Martin County due to our close proximity to US1 and the Turnpike. I am committed to helping relationships be the best version they can be. Nothing excites me more that helping relationships level up and find fun and creative ways to connect, learn and grow. I offer relational support, education and help to individuals, couples, families and parents. Please do not hesitate to bring me onto your journey, I'd be honored. Please give me a call at 772-361-8448 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

Therapy can be extremely helpful and fulfilling, and it takes work both in and out of sessions to be most effective. It requires active involvement, honesty, and openness in order to change thoughts, emotional reactions and/or behaviors. Here's a cool infographic I created to highlight the 3 ways you can maximize your time in therapy in order to get the most from the process. #travelinglightcounseling #mentalhealth #counseling Traveling Light Counseling is in the heart of Port Saint Lucie, FL and easily assessable from both Vero Beach and Martin County due to our close proximity to US1 and the Turnpike. I am committed to helping relationships be the best version they can be. Nothing excites me more that helping relationships level up and find fun and creative ways to connect, learn and grow. I offer relational support, education and help to individuals, couples, families and parents. Please do not hesitate to bring me onto your journey, I'd be honored. Please give me a call at 772-361-8448 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

It’s an unfortunate thing to hear about another school shooting. People’s lives are changed in an instant. In hearing the eyewitness accounts about the evening and I can’t help but be emotional. Parents I work with report a sadness and anxiety about sending their children to school. However, in that moment of sadness and disbelief I can’t help hearing a call to action stirring up inside. What can I do to both help my children in the moment but also strengthen them for tomorrow? Here are 4 call to action steps that you can do today. TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN. Be the first to talk with your children about what is going in order to help them sort out their own feelings and thoughts before they are highjacked by their peer groups or outside sources that don’t know your child’s capacity and/or don’t have your child’s best interest in mind. As painful as it is to talk about these things it does know good from an emotional standpoint to pretend it doesn’t exist as this allows a child’s mind to create its own reality. PRIORITIZE YOUR CHILD’S MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH. I’ve heard parents report that they struggle with recognizing that mental health issues are real. They don’t recognize it or perhaps just don’t want to acknowledge it, thinking that everyone should be in control of their body. If we’ve learned anything from the past violence in our culture we can see that this is far from the truth. Taking care of your mental health is extremely important and no different then taking care of your physical health. However, just like our physical health we get lazy and as a culture we have resorted to more reactive methods of dealing with things. It doesn’t have to be so. We can be proactive and get the help for our kids through counseling before their mental health gets so big that it not only takes them down but everyone around them, becoming an irreversible tragedy with unimaginable consequences. BE AN ADVOCATE. Come alongside your school and brainstorm ideas on how to keep school’s safe. School’s are not what they used to be and it is going to take a collective effort to combat violence. COME UP WITH A PLAN. A lot of the witness accounts report that they knew something was off with the shooter and that he presented as unstable. Have an open line of communication with your child in order that they feel comfortable talking to you about student concerns in their school and/or programs. Relay to them the importance of communicating with you children they feel are dangerous, unstable or uncomfortable to be around. Children know more than you think and can be great judges of character. Think of ‘stranger danger’ but instead replace it with ‘student danger’. Raise their awareness of being people smart and aware of their surroundings. Come up with a plan on what to do in an emergency situation when away from parents. Every time my children go into a new program we review “good touch and bad touch” procedures and what to do if someone tries to do a bad touch and how to prevent bad situations. This has been an invaluable process and it’s know different with student danger and bullying. Life in the public-school system doesn’t have to be a scary and anxious ridden environment for our children. Children need a calm and peaceful learning environment to fill their minds with everything they need to learn to grow in wisdom. However, it will require intentionality to create a brighter tomorrow for our children. Traveling Light Counseling is in the heart of Port Saint Lucie, FL and easily assessable from both Vero Beach and Martin County due to our close proximity to US1 and the Turnpike. I am committed to helping relationships be the best version they can be. Nothing excites me more that helping relationships level up and find fun and creative ways to connect, learn and grow. One such relationship is that of the parent child relationship. I offer relational support, education and help families and parents navigate through the twist and turns of the parenting journey. Please do not hesitate to bring me onto your journey, I'd be honored. Please give me a call at 772-361-8448 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

Ever sit in the confusion of your child, wondering what you are doing wrong, what you did wrong, why they don’t get it, how many times you’ll have to teach or go over the same concept, routine or behavior choice? You’ve tried everything to help them or perhaps you haven’t tried anything cause you don’t even know where to begin. Welcome to the world of raising a complex child. What do I mean by a complex child. Well the short and sweet of it is a child that takes the simple out of everything and interacts with life at an intense level. For the most part everything that should be a task becomes a project. They struggle with a little bit of everything, having you scratch your head questioning if they are Gifted, ADHD, Sensory, Bipolar or if it’s just temperament and you have the strongest willed child known. There is hope! I’ll go through the amazing strengths and experiences that come from these complex children in a later post but for now here’s some tips to manage the gift of complexity. Stop and Catch your breath. There’s something therapeutic about just closing your mouth and catching your breathe in the journey of parenting. Be mindful of your thoughts. There’s nothing quicker that can escalate a situation for the worst than an unmanaged thought closet. Am I saying you don’t acknowledge your feeling? Absolutely not! You just acknowledge them and then work through them. However, if you don’t mind what you think you can escalate the situation choosing reactive over responsive choices, which can easily snowball the situation with negative consequences ranging from damaged relationships and feelings of quilt and shame. Break it down. There’s a concept I train parents in that has you distinguish what we can control and what we cannot known as "The Rock and Play Dough Technique". As situations arise, ask yourself is this a rock situation or a play-dough situation. Then sit in it for a second and figure out your next best move. If it’s a play-dough situation then problem solving is in order. If it’s a rock situation then turn to your coping tool box and breathe. Sometimes you’ll find that it’s both but always start with breathing before problem solving in order that you have a good brain to work with. Work together. When you’re calm, cool and collected talk over the situation or problem with your child and discuss the actions steps that will occur next. This is also a great time to "sit on the sidewalk" with them and get their perspective on things. Self Care. Take care of yourself on a regular basis. Complex kids have a way of using up every bit of your resources.....mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual. You need to rest and recharge daily. Taking care of yourself enables you to be the very best you, you can be. Some days will be easier than others. Life with a complex child is both a 'blessing and a curse' as some parents describe it and something I help you find clarity on in our time together through the avenue of Parent Coaching. Complex children experience and interact with the world so intensely. Everything seems to have an extra dose of that intensity even their loving nature. #complexkids #tiredparents Traveling Light Counseling is in the heart of Port Saint Lucie, FL and easily assessable from both Vero Beach and Martin County due to our close proximity to US1 and the Turnpike. I am committed to helping relationships be the best version they can be. Nothing excites me more that helping relationships level up and find fun and creative ways to connect, learn and grow. One such relationship is that of the parent child relationship. I offer relational support, education and help families and parents navigate through the twist and turns of the parenting journey. Please do not hesitate to bring me onto your journey, I'd be honored. Please give me a call at 772-361-8448 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

When people think of the word homework so many bad memories come to mind. I can't say I blame you as life has taught us that homework is nothing but a time consuming waste of time. However, contrary to experience homework can be a useful and important tool in life and especially in therapy. Here are some reasons why I assign homework in our time together. It’s My Style. I use CBT techniques in our work together in which homework is an integral component of. But, honestly even if I didn’t, it would still be a tool in my tool box of working with you, as I find setting time outside of therapy and doing soul searching to be an integral part of the journey and process of change. It’s the times in your solitude when you get to sit in your thoughts thinking about the assignment or reflecting on what was discussed in session that everything has a chance to settle and you get to catch your breathe. Homework is not everyone’s favorite word, but I through every bit of creativity have to make the process as productive and painless as possible. Types of homework I assign include reading, watching videos, doing research, setting goals, picking your ONE Word, listening to podcasts, practicing new skills and reporting back, implementing/improving lifestyle choices, worksheets, and or journaling (this one is my favorite). Brings you into the process. The progress you experience in therapy is largely in your control. Assigning homework makes the process of therapy more collaborative and efficient. You’ll hear me tell you that you’re the expert of your life and that’s because you are. You have invited me into the adventure of your life to bring perspective, however my knowledge is only half of the process. Without an active person that is committed to the process of change we are limited in our progress together because lasting change cannot occur in the box of time in which we sit together. You are a key factor in the process of change and there’s nothing more exciting than having an active participant. Self exploration. Many of us go through life at the speed of light never stopping to get to know ourselves and in turn missing out on a wealth of self knowledge and self love. Everyone is uniquely wired and taking the time to understand yourself is so freeing and powerful. Developing the habit to create space and time to dig deep into our thought closet examining and taking inventory of our thoughts, feelings, desires, and dreams is eye opening. According to Ryan Howes, Ph.D, psychologist, writer and professor in Pasadena, California, Self-exploration involves “taking a look at your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and motivations and asking why. It’s looking for the roots of who we are — answers to all the questions we have about [ourselves],” Self exploration “helps people understand and accept who they are and why they do what they do, which improves self-esteem, communication and relationships,” he said. Practice New Skills. There’s nothing like time that allows you to practice the new skills we learn in session together. I call it a prescription change, in that you come in seeing things one way and when you leave the goal is to look at and experience life differently. The difference takes time. Time in which you need to adjust to, find a rhythm, and reconstruct new healthier habits. Accountability. Gives you a person to have to report back to regarding the newly applied habits, behaviors, ways of thinking, and ways of handling and or coping with both situations, people and feelings. Knowing that someone is going to be following up with you and checking on the progress of your success brings another element to the ever so challenging but exciting process of change. Homework is a tool. A tool that can if used intentionally can take you to the next level, can help you take that next brave step and even for some can help you discover new and exciting things about yourself and the world around you. Still not convinced that homework can be positive. That's okay. In our time together you'll get the opportunity to explore the positive side of homework and experience the transformative work that comes alongside it. "I feel very lucky to have found Yvette as my counselor. Her use of homework makes a big difference in my growth. When you go to a session it doesn't end at that 45 minute mark. It continues even without her there because of the homework. The homework keeps you thinking about the changes you are trying to make, which is a good thing. I'm never overwhelmed eventhough I'm working on a lot right now. She guides you through it all. Thank you Yvette for helping me grow and make the changes I want to make. You really are making a difference with all of the techniques you bring to the table!" - Client T. Yvette E. McDonald is the owner and counselor at Traveling Light Counseling, a practice for individuals looking for a better and brighter tomorrow by unpacking their past and present difficulties, stresses, and mindsets in order to grow from the old and embrace the new. I'm passionate about helping people have rewarding relationships. If you're in the Saint Lucie or Martin County Area and co-parenting feels "chaotic", please give me a call at 772-361-8448 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

It's both and exciting and nerve racking first step for some. For others it's long overdue and for others it's the bravest thing they ever did. What ever brings you to this point in your journey, I'm excited to have been invited and have created an infographic to help you prepare for our phone consultation. Read it over. Write down your questions. Catch your breath and let the adventure begin. #mentalhealthcounseling #travelinglightcounseling #personalgrowth Traveling Light Counseling is in the heart of Port Saint Lucie, FL and easily assessable from both Vero Beach and Martin County due to our close proximity to US1 and the Turnpike. I am committed to helping relationships be the best version they can be. Nothing excites me more that helping relationships level up and find fun and creative ways to connect, learn and grow. I offer relational support, education and help to individuals, couples, families and parents. Please do not hesitate to bring me onto your journey, I'd be honored. Please give me a call at 772-361-8448 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.