Yvette E. McDonald, LCSW-QS
Paralyzed by Feelings
It’s okay, to not always be okay!
Coming to the end of self and/or your circumstances can be life changing and seen as a positive thing if you lean into it correctly. You are probably thinking you have to be kidding me. There’s no way! I'm numb. Lost. I don’t even know what I should be feeling, though I know I should be feeling something. Perhaps you can relate with this song by NF:
And I’d say that’s okay, as It’s okay to not always be okay. Perhaps you have kept your feelings or thoughts hidden out of fear, shame, uncertainty, or a desire to try to keep it all together and power through it. Perhaps you sit in the confusion of why am I feeling this way as I’ve never struggled with life like this before. I love how author Nicki Koziarz put it in her book Why Her?,
“When life mistreats me and I’m not okay, I need to be more accepting rather than rejecting of these raw places. Because when I try to move on too quickly, the breakdown almost always comes.”
How true this statement is, if we really get honest with ourselves. Life gets hard. It throws us curve balls and has us willingly or unwillingly waving the white flag. The good thing is we need to remember it’s okay to not always feel okay. With life’s unpredictability we can find ourselves lost, confused, anxious, numb and even depressed. These are the times we need to take an honest look at ourselves and seek help. You might be thinking, “No it’s okay.” "I’m good." "I’ll be able to get through this by myself." “I don’t need therapy?” Just give me some ideas to work on my own. Okay you may be right and here's some things to try.
Lean into it and find the lessons that life is presenting you in order to learn, grow and conquer.
Relax and Catch your breath. Life can get hard so never forget to just breath and relax. Mindfulness is an excellent habit to cultivate.
Do one positive thing for yourself daily. This can be anything. Drinking your favorite tea, going for a walk. The point isn't how big it's that you do something.
Practice good self-care. Self care involves everything from morning meditation, prayer, healthy eating habits, a good nights rest and daily exercise.
Begin a gratitude journal. There's nothing more powerful than cultivailting the daily habit of writing down 3 positive things. Recording what your grateful for boosts levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy.
Find balance. Slow down and pace yourself. Determine your priorities and create a healthy balance in your life.
But....what if applying the above mentioned isn't enough? How do you know when you’ve come to the end of yourself and need the professional help of a counselor that can help you through the difficult season you are currently in? Counseling has many benefits that can help you through the rough seasons and is a great way to strengthen your journey to a brighter and lighter tomorrow. Sounds cliche, I know but there is truth in it. If we shift our perspective and see counseling as a positive experience like that of going to the gym to get stronger just on an emotional level we can take full advantage of the many benefits of counseling.
Counseling can help you…..
Get perspective & clarity. There’s nothing better than someone helping you see things from a different angle or getting reassurance that your feelings are normal for the given situation.
Get professional insight to help you move through the difficult seasons of life. Having a professional help you sort out what’s going on and give you their insight helps with gaining a greater understanding of the situation, your feelings or your thoughts.
Unload/Off load. Sometimes just being able to unload/offload everything that’s going on in your head and life is extremely therapeutic. Clients frequently report back to me saying the very act of just getting it out and having a listening hear was beyond helpful.
Create a stronger and better version of self. Sitting with a counselor helps you to see yourself from a different viewpoint. It allows you to see your weakness and strengths as they are and has you tap into your internal strength and resourcefulness that has been hidden for far to long.
Bounce your ideas and thoughts off of a non-judgemental, knowledgeable, relatable professional.
Identify blind spots. Like a driving a car there are areas in our life one cannot see. Having a professional point out and help you identify those spots are extremely beneficial to the process of change.
Lots of people come to me not out of weakness but out of a place of great strength as they come to the end of self and/or their circumstances in search of a better and lighter tomorrow, a new way of doing things, a renewed headspace and a stronger tomorrow. They often say they wish they would have came earlier in their journey instead of pushing it off or giving into the stigma of therapy.
“Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”― Benjamin Franklin
I'm passionate about helping people become "unstuck" in their unhelpful and/or unhealthy patterns of behavior. If you're in the Saint Lucie County Area and feeling "stuck" with feeling overwhelmed and/or any other debilitating symptoms of anxiety, please give me a call at 772-361-84408 for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.