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  • Writer's pictureYvette E. McDonald, LCSW-QS

The Vital Importance of Upholding the Integrity of Therapy in Relationships

In the complex tapestry of human connections, the role of therapy in relationships cannot be overstated. It serves as a beacon of understanding, a bridge to communication, and a path to resolution. However, a critical caveat arises when therapy is weaponized – turned into a tool of manipulation, control, or coercion within a relationship. Something I see happens to many times resulting in detrimental consequences both in and out of the therapy session.

Let's explore together why it is paramount to preserve the sanctity of therapy and avoid its weaponization in the pursuit of healthier and more harmonious connections.

1. Therapy as a Collaborative Endeavor:

Therapy, ideally, is a collaborative effort where individuals come together with a shared goal of mutual understanding and growth. Weaponizing therapy transforms this cooperative space into a battleground, where sessions become arenas for asserting dominance or settling scores. Such a distortion not only impedes progress but also undermines the very essence of therapeutic intervention – the shared journey towards healing and understanding.

2. Trust and Vulnerability:

Central to any therapeutic relationship is the establishment of trust and the willingness to be vulnerable. Weaponizing therapy disrupts this delicate balance by introducing an element of distrust. When one partner feels the therapist is being utilized to validate personal narratives or undermine the other, the atmosphere of trust crumbles, impeding the therapeutic process.

3. Undermining the Therapeutic Alliance:

A cornerstone of effective therapy is the alliance between the therapist and the individuals seeking guidance. Weaponization erodes this alliance by introducing external motives that compromise the therapist's impartiality and ability to facilitate genuine healing. Maintaining the therapeutic space as a neutral ground is pivotal for fostering an environment conducive to constructive introspection.

4. Manipulation and Control:

Weaponizing therapy often involves using insights gained in sessions as leverage for manipulation or control. This can manifest as one partner wielding therapeutic revelations against the other during disagreements or power struggles. Such tactics not only violate the ethical boundaries of therapy but also exacerbate existing relationship dynamics.

5. Impact on Individual Well-Being:

Ultimately, weaponizing therapy takes a toll on the mental and emotional well-being of those involved. Rather than serving as a source of support, therapy becomes a source of stress and anxiety. Individuals may feel hesitant to open up, fearing that their vulnerabilities will be exploited, leading to a breakdown in the therapeutic process and hindering personal growth.

The sanctity of therapy in relationships lies in its ability to facilitate understanding, growth, and healing. Weaponizing this invaluable resource not only sabotages the therapeutic process but also jeopardizes the very foundation upon which healthy relationships are built. As we navigate the complexities of human connections, let us recognize the profound impact of therapy and commit to preserving its integrity as a tool for genuine transformation and connection.


As a counselor and writer navigating the intricate landscape of neurodiversity with both autism and ADHD, my professional journey is a testament to the strength that comes from embracing diverse perspectives. Through the lens of my own experiences, I strive to illuminate the beauty and resilience inherent in neurodivergent individuals. As a counselor, I am committed to providing a safe and inclusive space, where the nuances of neurodiversity are not just understood but celebrated. In my writing, I aim to bridge gaps in understanding, fostering a broader dialogue that promotes acceptance and appreciation for the rich tapestry of human cognition. My dual roles as a counselor and writer converge in a passion for advocacy, championing the rights and unique strengths of neurodivergent individuals. In every word and session, I aspire to contribute to a world that recognizes and values the diverse ways we experience and navigate the world.


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